All hail the mighty cornholio

DEAR WHORE;7 years of bad luckNext pageArchive

pizza-stories:

When I was young I was curious about what sex was. I asked my grandparents, and they told me it was basically like hugging. It took me a while to realise that asking my friends and family to have sex with me was inappropriate.

The Story Archive: This one time at Target

pizza-stories:

Okay so I’m at Target right, it’s the afternoon and it’s just after Christmas, and I was spending some of my Christmas money. I find this really cute dress, so I got to try it on. I’m in the dressing room, I’m pulling my pants down, and then I smell this horrible, fishy smell. My heart stopped and…

The Story Archive: okay so like i went on this ‘adventure’ weekend that lasted from a...

pizza-stories:

okay so like i went on this ‘adventure’ weekend that lasted from a friday to a sunday, and i was on my period and we had to go into this frikin freezing river and i had a pad on bc too scared to use tampons and i was just jumping backwards off waterfalls and then someone was like ‘omg look a…

pizza-stories:

When I was really young, maybe 7 or 8, I used to hump the tables and my chair in my classroom. I made a friend who did that too and we did it together and I thought I was in love

jesspinkman:

being a pessimist is great i’m always either right or pleasantly surprised 

#the optimistic look on pessimism  

(Source: xcyst, via sleazywilly)

falloutyoungmale:

I write sins not five page research papers

(via superman-in-the-impala)

deadpools:

giemma:

deadpools:

how do gay men have sex???? does one of them grow a vagina or something????

*whispers* they put it in the bootyhole

image

(via superman-in-the-impala)

ownerofherheart:

╚ 1x7 - The Long Game

(via superman-in-the-impala)

saddumbgirl:

cute messages make me instinctively hide my face in my hands and fall to one side on my bed 

(Source: plantkitten, via superman-in-the-impala)

kylesbogusjourney:

activatewindows:

kylesbogusjourney:

WHAT IF MY COLORS ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOUR COLORS

They are, because people having varying numbers of Rods and cones in their eyes, it causes people to see colours differently.

Also there is a theory that everyone sees, for example, the colour red differently eg Red=yellow, but because we’ve been taught that, that specific colour is red, no one knows if everyone is seeing the same colour as another person.

image

(via superman-in-the-impala)

fupaccino:

downtherabbittthole:

if ur ever sad just remember that this nun looks like Josh Hutcherson

image

YO THERE’S SPIT ALL OVER MY LAPTOP SCREEN 

(via yesimbeyonce)

screamsinsilence527:

avengerlicious:

So I’m re-reading Philosopher’s Stone and I finally notice something. The night Harry first finds the Mirror of Erised is Christmas night. Rowling wrote it so Harry gets to spend Christmas with his family.

My heart just broke

(via superman-in-the-impala)

familyfriendlyurl:

like there are an unlimited number of possible jokes you can make that do not rely on belittling people

(via circumcisions)

mistereffinapocalypse:

thefaultinmyass:

ipaintyouwings:


Message from David Karp 

everyone needs to read this.

Fuck yeah 

Plus both our logos end in punctuation!

pizza-stories:

When I was really young, maybe 7 or 8, I used to hump the tables and my chair in my classroom. I made a friend who did that too and we did it together and I thought I was in love